A change of perspective allowed me to see that lack - or abundance - was merely my own
perception of where I was at any one time.
At the end of the seeking, the seeker is the one sought.
My identity is a limitation and always relative to two positions ..
one I am trying to get away from and the other I am trying to reach.
Nowhere to run - to or from.
Why the need to run away..? Why the need to achieve ..?
Both are very tiring exercises .. expressions of my own perception of lack of love and
acceptance of myself. This I have found out was a self limiting self deception which I was
educated into believing from years of trying to live up to the hopes, fears and expectations of
other people. A conditioned behaviour that turned me into a seeker.
I have learned that my life could be tough .. or I could do it the easy way. It was all dependent
on how attached I was to what I was running away from .. and how much I perceived I lacked what I
was reaching out for.
I have learned that everything that I have experienced has been financed by a connection with
Universal abundance in some way or other .. including my periods of poverty.
My mother, with whom I once had so many conflicts, died and left me the money which has allowed
the space for all of these events to take place. Now I have made peace with my mother.
Yet, often, I still felt that what I knew was a burden (memories of early childhood) because it
went against the beliefs of so many people. However, the more I released my idea of burden the
more people I was led to who showed me I was not alone.
I wanted to learn about Jungian Psychology. I was led to a man who was a personal student of
I wanted to learn about Transpersonal Psychology .. I was led to a couple who had studied under
Charles Tart and Ken Wilber - the founders of TP.
I wanted to learn about breath and Rebirthing - my teachers studied under Groffe.
And so the stories go on, too many to note here.
A journey into my Self, filled with meetings with remarkable people .. who I learned were
mirrors of some part of me which was seeking its expression through me .. not through who I
thought I was.
Since my encounter with Abu 14 years ago, my journey has been one encounter after
another. Since I accepted that I should not have attachments, I have never been alone. Yes, the
journey separated me from my wife and my children .. but from experience, that decision has turned
my son and daughter into rather interesting young people.
The people who have come to work with me, those who thought they have come to learn from me ..
have come as my teachers .. they have reflected to me those parts of my unconscious that still
need clearing out ..
and, yes, there have been a lot of tears .. and a lot of joy in the release of past patterns.
There has been a lot of pain from the physical body, but that pain has been the release of holding
patterns and distortions that have seen this body, once almost crippled, now reasonably supple.
The culmination of my whole process occurred 14 years after my meeting with Abu with that image
.. and many others I have experienced, presented on the world stage at the opening ceremony for
the Sydney Olympics.
A cycle in my life has ended .. and I move, now into another ..
But within and overlapping that, there are other cycles which continue ..
There is the relationship with my partner Fiona .. where every emotional exchange is seen as a
learning experience .. a clearing out of some past habit .. and where, for most of our time we
play like little children in a pre school ..
and then there is anunda .. probably my greatest teacher .. a little boy born to one of the
members of my group .. from a labour that had no pain .. toned into the world with some of the
most powerful sounds I have ever heard coming from deep in his mother .. as I supported her
through the birthing process
Fiona has written the story of the birth anunda .. she was there and saw the effects of the
tone in the colours of the walls around .. and in the images that manifested .. and felt the
effects of these "long forgotten to human" sounds in her body .. and, she is writing the
story of a little boy, who has full remembering of all that I have written of .. and can verbally
communicate it ..
a little boy who still remembers, consciously, his true home and family beyond what we are
taught to believe .. because I would never let anyone try to shut him down.
such .. is the Tao ..
The ancient fire was re-kindled within the consciousness of 3 billion or so people who witnessed
the opening ceremony of the Sydney Olympics .. and a lot of the repressed conflict will be
released from the planet .. and its people.
The ancient Universal Consciousness that moves beyond the personality of individual.
Some will allow that this is the way of the Tao and fill support the process through the way of
the Budda .. with compassion. Others will call on their perception of God to fix what they
perceive as a problem ..
which in reality, is only the mirror of the conflicts within.
again .. such is the way of the Tao.
I cannot prove to anyone, the efficacy of what I have written .. but I have seen more than
enough .. and tested myself over and over again, just to make sure that I got it right. I don't
need to do that anymone. Nor do I need to justify or prove anything to myself or anyone else. I
I no longer bear the scars that I once did .. but I have allowed myself a few memories .. and
the tangible memorabilia of those experiences .. just to remind me that none of what I wrote about
was, what some call a dream.
This Path has been walked .. an essence has been remembered and brought to the light of
consciousness .. there is no need for anyone else to walk this same path .. unless they choose ..
but, now for some who know me .. there are choices that were not evident in their lives before
and there is a child .. born innocent .. who consciously retains his innocence ..
This I know.