There is a tendency for most people to attempt to "redefine" who they are as
they change. I have found that, in most cases, this comes from a need for acceptance,
primarily from others. It is only the ego, the personality of you that needs a name or
needs to be named. This is not you, but what you want to be for others and what others
want you to be for them.
One of the roots of this tendency is the expectation that
parents put on the children that they will "make something of their lives" .. to
justify the parental need to be seen as a successful parent.
The thruth of you, the "Divine essence", the "Innocent You" needs
no such name. To place a name on the Innocent is to try and limit that which is limitless
or infinite. Labels and names imply boxes.
This is part of the reason why most are unable to accept the concept of an infinite
beingness of what some call God because, for the ego, the concept of infinite is something
which is impossible for the finite mind to grasp.
Every time I set out to define who I am, I do that just that, create a boundary, a
separation from my divinity, my infinity, my innocence. Not only am I defined as separate,
I have to find the rules, the parameters, which encompass (or box) my new
"limited" perception who I am.
Every time I identify myself with a label, I am doing for someone else's approval .. I
am trying to be "something" for "someone" to meet their expectations
and their limitations. Not only am I not able to explore my own possibilities, limiting
myself to what others may think of me, but I am not being true to my Self.
For me to allow change to be a continual and progressive evolution and still continue
to define who I am, I am creating a continual paradox or conflict within myself.
The way around this that I used very early in my journey was for me to define myself not
as being anything more than an expression of some part of that infinite being that I am.
The benefits of this are twofold:
1. I do not lose sight of the infinity of my essence which is underneath any definition or
identity that I may see myself as having ...
2. I am able to change the definition, and the rules and conditions of my behaviour as
easily as I would change jobs ... by simply recognising that I am changing masks as I
would at a fancy dress ball.
A further benefit from this perspective is that I can see I am and that my expression
is, in the moment, defined by the mask that I'm wearing in that moment.
I do not call myself therapist, but in the moment that I am working within the definition
of "therapist", that is what I'm doing. But it is not who I am.
If I would call myself therapist, or a councillor, or healer, or any of those other labels
that people tend to place on aspects of the work that I'm doing, then I would be limiting
the fullness of what I'm doing (or expressing) to that other person's perception (and
projections) of what that box defines as appropriate behaviour for box labelled " ...
By removing the labels on myself, not only am I removing the expectation that I place
on myself and that others can place on me as to how I should appear to them, but in
fulfilling the role of therapist for some, I am limiting the possibility of transferrence
.. of my taking on what others want to put on me and my "putting my stuff" onto
others. From my perspective, there is no "client-therapist relationship" but
rather, the meeting of two friends.
Recognising the illusion of definition, I remove the need to battle myself, and can
assume the position of the watcher observing the battle between the archetypes (or labels)
that I have worn. I can then start to identify some of the conscious and unconscious
programs that I have absorbed .. and do something about removing the limitations of the
programs which I no longer need.
Accepting the essence and seeing the definition or label as an expression (in the
moment) of that essence is the work around I use, not only to clear boundaries within
myself from the past, but also to limit the effect of the projections from others on
In this consciousness, expecting the unexpected is a way of being; the only constancy
is change. It is of a source of amusement to me as I watch other people try to put me in a
box... and they find that as soon as they have identified the box, I have already jumped
out of it.
See also Puppy dog tails