anunda  • Health, Therapy and LifeSkills

The Gentle Therapist Program

Simplicity can not be overwhelmed.

We all start out as children, hopefully growing up in the right settings... playing with our toys, looking at the world with wonder. Everything is a Big Event. The baggage of life that we carry at this stage, in most cases, is fairly empty. But, buried down in the genetic memory, waiting for the right environment, the right moment, are the patterns, the memories of our ancestors and the whole history of who we already are.

As we progress on through adolescence, each year the weight of that baggage increases. As children, our main concern was survival, being accepted, nurtured, loved by our parents and trying to find a place where we fitted into the family structure. In adolescence and teenage years we started to form additional relationships and friendships outside the family.

Each time we did so, we put on another mask, another layer. We added another program to our "response routine". But the old programs were still there .. and there were conflicts.

Adulthood brings with it the roles of being a parent, a spouse, and a breadwinner, each day putting on more and more masks. Each day adding to the luggage of life which we carry around on our shoulders. If all goes well, there's no problem. But, it isn't surprising how easily we can get bogged down.

Playing different roles in life can get real tiring. It's no wonder that as we get older there feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all that we need (or want) to do. Our days of childhood feel like a glistening memory when we felt we could handle it all.

But then, in childhood, we only had one program which didn't have the limitations of the "if > then > jump" routine. The "keywords had not been disciplined into us as self limitations.

It's not hard to understand that as we get older we feel we are starting to forget things. These become (or are deliberately consigned to) the unconscious mind, deep into those parts of the body (those parts of our whole person) that are not "safe" to accept (or in some company, not safe to even acknowledge!)

Well, it's no wonder because, for many of us our minds are now having to handle at least three times the amount of information as before.

We're not "losing our minds," we're just very busy people who are trying to meet all of the needs, wants and expectations of those other people whom we have sought our approval status (the measure of our self esteem) from. Hey, what happened to all the leisure time we were supposed to have... the four day work week? Some do.... not many.

So how can we make things a little easier?

First, don't punish yourself for feeling overwhelmed. (who is it that feels overwhelmed?)

Second, work on accepting yourself just the way you are at this moment. (If no body else can accept you just the way you are, is that any reason to make their problem your problem?)

Third, try to let go and cast off some of the clutter that has accumulated over the years. In other words .. look at the programs and routines that have slowed up the system.

We tend to think, in society, that the more that we accumulate, the happier we will be. But what's not mentioned is that with each accumulation comes responsibilities that sometimes we may not care to handle. It's easier to ride a bike then to haul a heavy load.

So why simplicity? Because the simpler we make our lives, the happier and more free we are. If all we had to do was concentrate on what really is important, things would make more sense.

For each of us, it may involve different solutions, but you know what I mean. Everything doesn't have to become a big deal.... not everything is life-threatening... no, we won't die if we don't do it in five minutes.... different things have different priorities. They are not all equal.

We look around for solutions to our problems under every rock, and in every nook and cranny, because our intelligence tells us there has to be a complicated and profound solution to the situation. Have you ever asked a child for the answer to an adult problem? You will be amazed at their answer. They speak from their hearts.
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November 25, 2000
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